Monday, October 29

Day 1 - Fort Smith to Branson

Get it on!!
It's finally here. The Road Trip of the year. 7 new states, 2 old ones, 5 days.

I'm flying to Fort Smith, Arkansas to start my journey.

A comment about the Boston to Texas leg of my journey.

I'm a whiner. But I hope people realize most of the time it's in the context of telling an interesting or funny story. I know I live a good life, with nice things and are thankful.

But I could never be a flight attendant.

On my flight this morning.

Flight Attendant: What would you like to drink?
Flyer behind me: Do you have a ginseng infused herbal tea?
Flight Attendant: No we have Lipton

However in my head, the conversation ran like this

Flight Attendant: What would you like to drink?
Flyer behind me: Do you have a ginseng infused herbal tea?
Flight Attendant: Twat.

The whole flight was a clustereff. The guy in the middle seat was about 300lbs, and of course the guy in front had to recline his seat so that he could carry on doing his bullshit spreadsheets in a relaxed mode.

Once I landed at Fort Smith I noticed that all of their chairs are high backed and upholstered. Classy.

Went to the rental desk and picked up this baby.

Just OK
State 2 of the trip is Oklahoma. So good they named a musical for it.

It really was just OK. I crossed the state line, got out of the Dodge and tooled around for a few minutes, while guys in pick-up trucks scooted past me.

Do me a Flavor
Best name ever for an ice cream parlor.

Other stupid stuff I enjoyed today.

Alma: Famous for it's spinach, so obviously they threw up a huge Popeye bronze statue surrounded by fountains.

McDonalds air crash statue: Because nothing is as funny as a plane hitting a building ... on a better note they have a lot of Sonic Drive-ins here.

That's a huge bird you have there.

I was still giggling at "Quicker Liquors" in the Osarks when I had to pull to a grinding halt.

What's between these two places?

Jesus. Bigger than the Beatles

JC reclaims the title.

So why do Starbucks charge me $7?
Really? People in RVs have laptops ... and they get free WiFi

Say it Loud ...
... it's yellow and it's proud.

Finally ended up in Harrison, Arkansas. Real creepy. They still have a KKK office there.

Not the usual MO
Branson, Missouri. It's like Vegas for Born Agains.

270 miles: Fort Smith, AR to Oklahoma back to Springdale, AR to Bentonville to Eureka Springs to Harrison to Branson, MO

Top 5 songs of the day and why

Chipi Chipi; María Esther Zamora, "Polito" González, Jorge Lobos & Cuti Asse
It's a Spanish song about the noise a train makes, and it played as I waited for a freight train to pass

Nude; Radiohead
It came on as I drove around the Walmart HQ. Friggin' sellouts!

Lady; The Whispers
For the lyric "Your body's designed by the wisdom of time". What lady wouldn't be swooned by that line?

Glory Box; Portishead
Because when I think Arkansas, I also think Moog.

Going to a Town; Rufus Wainwright
A dandy cosmopolitan homosexual. Perfect as I drove through KKK Harrison.

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