Friday, November 2

Day 5 - Wahpeton to Chaska

Mother-in-Law Joke
Last year over Thanksgiving, Anne and I were in Las Vegas with her parents. We were driving to the Gold Coast when I made my Mother-in-Law giggle with this one.

What's a Shih Tzu?
It's a Dog
No, it's a zoo with no animals.

Result! Mrs B laughed, and I managed to drop in some light swearing at the same time.

Today I visited a shit zoo.


Neat
Next door to the zoo is a golf course which is in both North Dakota and Minnesota. You can drive your ball into the next state.

Pool Action
Last night's hotel had a swimming pool, with a pool table about 6 feet from the edge. I did not photograph it. There were 4 college girls playing Pool, and at my age it looks creepy brandishing a camera around women of this age.

I Saw the Sign
Ace of Base - now there's a band.

All of these objects are insanely huge and very well sign-posted, however I missed each and every one of them first time around. Maybe I'm just growing weary ...

Catfish - it's 30ft long and made of fiber glass


Otter - I have to write something about each one?



Viking
- city of Alexandria. Erotic City was playing on my iPod. Alexandria is not erotic.


Crow - A war memorial? I think those are bird droppings on there.


Chicken - It's a big chicken. What else do you want?


Nostalgic for Nothing
I didn't grow up in this country so it's hard to be nostalgic for Old Time Main Street USA. But Litchfield was just that. It was epitomized by Hardware Hank. I popped inside and sure enough they were wearing red baseball caps. Classy.


Twine (not string)
Bigger than the string ball from earlier in the week, but less trusting. This glass encased baby is huge.

Side note: Down the road they have a store called "Floors Galore!" Here's a close up of the twine.


Dr Taylor I presume?
I've been wanting to do this for an age.
Checking in, "Hi, I have a reservation tonight, name Dr. Taylor"
Hotel Receptionist: "Oh, here it is, welcome to Chaska, Dr. Taylor"

Who wouldn't want to be welcomed to a hotel as a doctor? OK, so it's a blatant lie, unethical and thank God nobody collapsed and required medical attention. But for a small moment, I felt smart and mature ... which is the exact opposite ...

Doctors don't stay in budget hotels?
Not sure if they scratched the braille too. Because that joke would also make a blind guy laugh.


Dorothy works at Arby's


Day 5 Stats
300 miles: Wahpeton ND to Breckenridge MN, to Alexandria to Belgrade to Litchfield to Darwin to Delano to Chaska

Final 5 songs of the week and why

Superfunkycalifragisexy; Prince
First Prince song I heard upon entering Minnesota. (The pint sized fella is from here)

Do You Remember the First Time?; Pulp
Reminded me I was very English in the middle of the American heartland.

Someday We'll All Be Free; Donny Hathaway
A strange contraction but, I found myself singing Someday Wi-Fi 'll be free. First suicide and now this. Sorry Donny.

Yeah (x3); Usher
I think he knows his way around a lady.

Pretty Little Angel Eyes; Curtis Lee
Damn well makes you want to drive straight to a diner, and order a milkshake. Remember Phil Spector for this and not the crazy gunplay.

So tomorrow I'm going to try to find the airport bathroom where Senator Larry Craig was arrested for lewd conduct....

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