Saturday, May 10

Rapunzel?

Was she that good looking? Locked away in a tower and yet she managed to maintain her beauty regimen. Did she have AC and cosmetics? Did the witch bring healthy and nutritious food each day?

The Prince dude knocked her up - again, no pre-natal vitamins or pelvic exams.

Rapunzel is banished when she makes a verbal slip up. Not surprising as the witch probably didn't nurture her social skills. Home schooled - I'm guessing Rapunzel was incredibly dim.

When the witch tricks the Prince, he jumps from the tower blinding himself?? No bone breakages or bruising, just blinding. Rapunzel gives birth to twins on her own, in the wilderness. Wow.

The blind Prince hears Rapunzel singing and they reunite.

That never worked for me either. She's a single mom with twins, and now she has a blind husband? Of course her tears cure his blindness. Let me check WebMD to see if that can happen.

They return to his kingdom and live happily ever after - I'm glad that his kingdom maintained the palace while he was out impregnating virgins, and being tricked by green-fingered witches.

Almost as ridiculous as The Sound of Music. "Hey Maria, come be the mother to my six screwed up kids. The big house and money? No we're giving that up to walk thru' the mountains like homeless people" Also look at a map. Salzburg is nowhere near the Swiss border. You've got Munich above you and fascist Italy to the South. Go West! to Liechtenstein. (yes - the real Trapp family went to Italy).

I ran it through MapQuest. 300 miles to Zurich - and those are mountain miles, on foot, with Gretl. Auf wiedersehen and so long little Gretl, you won't make it.

Pah!

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