Friday, October 31

Is it safe to swim in here?

I wish my own foreign language speaking was better. My talents are guide book phrases at best.

This caught my eye on the BBC website today.

When officials asked for the Welsh translation of a road sign, they thought the reply was what they needed.

Unfortunately, the e-mail response to Swansea council said in Welsh: "I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated".

Monday, October 27

Easy Sell

Not since a poor black kid knocked on my door a few years ago and got me to subscribe to a shitty magazine to keep him off the streets have I been so easily sold as I was today*

* Except the time I gave money to the battered women shelter. The woman at the door looked so .. battered, that I felt guilty for being male.

Anyway, back in April we went to Loon Mountain for our Anniversary for a spot of zip lining. The place we stayed in was nice enough and they've been pestering me since to sign up for a discount stay in one of their other resorts.

So I caved in and signed up today. Now as I look at the resorts they have available I'm not so impressed.

Loon Mountain:
Well here's the deal, we've been there twice this year. It ain't no Acapulco.

Maine: Choose from Ogunquit, which doesn't seem far enough away to warrant a weekend trip, or Jackman which is 5 1/2 hours from Boston, and only 2 hrs from Quebec City.

Cape Cod:
I hate the Cape. It's an overrated sack of toss.

So there you have it. A 2 day weekend or 3 day weekday stay is all mine. Just wish it was somewhere better.

Friday, October 24

An Old Freind

Earlier this year, as spring turned into summer, my brain did a re-organization, and moved a factoid into the area marked: Temporarily Forget.

So when the temperature dropped this week and my eyes scanned the car dashboard for help, I had that 'light bulb' moment.

The seat warmer is the best feature my car has to offer. Thankfully it's also one of the few extras that is yet to break.


Winter can roll on in. At least when I'm in the car.

Meanwhile at home, Anne asked last weekend if we could turn on the heating "Just to make sure it is working correctly". 6 days in and all seems fine. As usual Isobelle the Cat has taken root over one of the floor vents, which I suppose are her personal seat warmers.

Thursday, October 23

And the Academy Award Goes To ...

If you only go to see one talking dog movie this year, be sure to choose Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

It is undoubtedly the best one.

And remember, wherever there's a piƱata, there's a stick.

Tuesday, October 21

OK then, just one

We're slowly developing a jigsaw of inter-connecting photos of Acapulco. Each casita we stay in is positioned on a different part of the hillside overlooking the Bay. And every year I take a photo. Because I still cannot believe I'm visiting a place I thought only existed in Elvis movies.

Monday, October 20

Fine Dining

I found this image while reading

Check it out; The Taiwanese toilet themed restaurant features incredibly inventive seating.

Faeces shaped ice-cream anyone?

Original Source:

Sunday, October 19


Was the name tag on the woman who checked my items at Target on Saturday.

Perhaps her last name was Sexy, Stupid or Right. Was probably Lopez.

Speaking of Kinda Stupid. I was in a clothing store on Saturday and the guy next to me was checking himself out in the mirror. He'd tried on a sweater and actually gave himself the knowing wink and followed it up with the finger guns ... both barrels.

10 minutes later and I was at the check out making a purchase when the aforementioned douche-nozzle announces that he "wanted to wear the pants he was buying" (a practice I never support).

He was asked to sit on the anti-theft device to de-activate the over-priced jeans. In the meantime the sales guy bagged up the old pants. All fun and games, until the Dick tells the sales clerk to remove the old pants from the bag and neatly fold them.

The counter-guy does the "You serious?" double take. He is serious and now he asks for a bottle of water. The sale guy puts on the shit smile and pulls out a bottle of Fiji. And the guy says "This is warm".

Man it must suck to work retail.

Sunday, October 12

Terminally ill skiers

I imagine they go downhill fast.

Thank you very much.

I'll be here all week.

Thanks AT&T

Just got your text message and e-mail warning me about excessive International Data Usage.

48 hours after I left Mexico..

Supposedly I used $US580 worth of internet.

Probably going to challenge this one.

Sunday, October 5


Being good Catholics, the Acapulcans don't sell booze in their stores on Sunday. So we raided the comedically expensive minibar for a couple of Coronas.

No bottle opener.

I tried the door jamb trick. They'll need to paint the door.

So I rang down and after much Espan-jolity I learned the Spanish for bottle opener but even better, I now know how to say corkscrew!

Less than 90 seconds

How long it took for the Mexican maid to see me naked.

We'd been shown around the casita, and the door was closed.

How was I to know she was going to bring extra towels in through the balcony doors?

Saturday, October 4

That Guy

Winter's not quite here, but each year I seem to find myself in some snow covered airport.

As I walk to the gate avoiding the obese lazy bastards on the beeping cart and wondering why Hudson News sells magazines only a milquetoast moron would be interested in, there is one thing guaranteed to cheer me up.

A guy in shorts, t-shirt and sandals. This guy doesn't give a damn that it's blizzard time out there. He's probably flying somewhere warm, or maybe he's just a crazy fucker from Buffalo!

This week, I'm that guy. I just packed for 5 days in Acapulco. 2 pairs of shorts, 3 t-shirts and a pair of sandals. I have more books than clothes.

And at the stroke of midnight next Friday/Saturday I'll be that tool in the taxi line at Logan freezing my ass off.