Sunday, November 30

Four Fifths

A few years ago my old boss Brian shocked Anne by stating 80% of the population were useless.

At the time Anne was involved in charity work, and it seemed like a damning view of a world that needed help.

And yet ... each time I go to the cinema I feel closer to 90% of the world could just disappear.

Now the movie I saw yesterday, Role Models, is hardly highbrow. In fact it's so lowbrow that even I was tired of the kid swearing.

And I love a kid that says fuck.

But given how mindless this movie was, I was still shocked at how the audience laughed at parts they weren't supposed to laugh at, and yet didn't even titter at some of the seriously funny parts (of which there are a few).

Wow, I just did 150 words of social commentary based on a dumb movie.

Saturday, November 29

The last camera I ever buy?


Or the last stand alone camera.

Got myself a new camera today. My last one was 4 years old and served me well. I hope in 4 years time, the iPhone (or whatever I am using then) will come with a camera worthy of ditching this new one.

Friday, November 28

It kind of works

Read this review for a bar where I need to pick up some tickets.


Stupid yes, but there's a certain logic to it.

Sporty!

We were in the pub the other night with my parents and I caught them watching sports on TV. Being English, I presumed them to be impervious to the delights of hockey and basketball.

Apparently not.

So I went to the convenient folks at Ticketmaster and bought some tickets for both the Bruins and the Celtics ON THE SAME DAY!!

Just watched the Bruins beat someone else. As usual the National Anthem was butchered in Mariah Carey-esque style. I also love how US sports is all about family values and yet they promote hockey as a 'you are likely to see a fight', concept.

Parents loved the game, the music, and the fact you can order food from your seat (that might just have been the chi-chi part of the stadium we were in).

So tonight the Garden swaps the Zamboni for the guys who squeegee the sweat off the boards.

And I get to listen to the National Anthem again.

Thursday, November 27

Passive Aggressive Canadians

I don't have any Canadian clients. Not by choice, we just haven't tried pitching much up there.

Around this time of year however, I'm usually working with a client who uses a Canadian supplier.

The supplier always sends a work related e-mail on Thanksgiving. I've also had reason to attend their site on ... Presidents' Day, Columbus Day and Independence Day weekend.

Yes, we get it. They are not Canadian holidays. And probably most non Canadians don't know when Victoria Day, or your version of Thanksgiving is.

But starting a mail with "I need a quick response on this ...", and ending the mail with "Have a Happy Thanksgiving" is passive aggressively douche like.

Thank you.

Wednesday, November 26

Cheesy

We have a cheesecake sampler for Thanksgiving.

Regular, Cranberry Swirl, Egg Nog and Pumpkin.

Nice.

Monday, November 24

Bumming my High

Every time I see this commercial I feel torn.


I'm sad for the animals, but wonder if Sarah McLachlan could buy all of them.

Reminds me of a McLachlan story. She once let her screaming child ruin the ambiance of a very expensive Boston restaurant. Apparently little Tarquin (or whatever the kids name is), was allowed to shout and scream while the diners paying $300 a plate each looked on in horror/anguish/pain.

Saturday, November 22

Different kind of blogging

I have a feeling my restaurant blog eatdrinkreview will get more action in the next week or so. My parents are here and we love to go out to dinner.

Of course it means I can probably wave goodbye to the weight loss competition at work, but it's great to go out to different restaurants and talk all night.

2 nights in, and we've been for fish and Brazilian BBQ. No idea what today will bring, although tonight I'm taking them to a comedy show in Boston.

And I'm determined to take them for Indian food, despite their last experience being a dodgy Tandoori in 1974.

Tuesday, November 18

Tree

From my wonderful in-laws (mother, father, brother and sister).

I'm sat at my desk and the phone rings. A guy said "I'm at the back door with some flowers for you".

Being a cynical bastard I immediately thought it was a scam. I really thought I was being served papers for some business indiscretion. No one ever sends me flowers.

Anyhow, as you can see, it looks very nice next to my therapist style couch.

Monday, November 17

Fascinating Sociopath or Hoax?

So the other night Anne mentioned a website where married people can register to have affairs. No, I don't recall how it came up!!

Now as someone who loves to judge, my first thought was, adultery is still illegal in some states, so in essence these guys are assisting in a crime.

Whatever.

In her always-factual-journalistic style, Anne said that the site is "Some woman's name".

A google search later I discovered the site is ashleymadison.com, however I scanned past the actual website, and at #6 on the google hit was a blog that caught my eye.

You can guess the objective of http://100girlsin1year.blogspot.com/ Don't click the link if you are easily offended or shocked.

However, I don't shock easily. So. As I read through each entry I wasn't sure if this was real or not, but even more mysterious is that the guy (or imposter woman) suddenly stopped blogging in June, only 21 women into his year long 'quest'.

What the hell happened? Answers on a postcard please.

Sunday, November 16

The Anatomy of a Photo


FROM FRIDAY'S MOMENTOUS DAY.

1. We thought we were borrowing $250,000 from the bank. Wrong! They take out their fees. Bastards!

We were also shocked that they wrote a check/cheque. The money came from the bank, and then went straight back into the bank.

And when I say wrote, I mean wrote. Seriously, you couldn't do this on a computer, or make us an outrageously huge check/cheque as if we had won the lottery?

2. I love polka dots.

3. I stole a pen from this address.

4. I'm 38 and I still bite my fingernails.

5. Account number is Gaussian blurred for our protection. Although Chloe from 24 could probably undo it.

6. This is a part of Maria's face.

7. Try not to mix pin-stripes with polka dots.

Sexy Syrup!

I'm becoming obsessed with the mythical women used to sell maple syrup.

Vermont Maid, Aunt Sue, Mrs Butterworth, Aunt Jemima, Miss Bee ... A lady for most tastes I'm sure.

Saturday, November 15

We did it

Together with my amazing business partner Maria, we bought our design company yesterday. In the grand scheme of things there are way too many people to thank. So instead, in chronological order, here are the people I need to thank just for yesterday.

6am Anne kisses me for good luck and says I look handsome

7am Sean puts a bottle of Champagne on my desk

8am Maria and Paul sign some documents to finalize the deal

11am Brad the lawyer walks us through the process

11.30am Bob the banker hands over the money

12.00 My parents say "Well Done"

12.30pm Emma takes the money and gives me permission to go to lunch

1pm Laura, Laura, Kim, Dave, Jay and Sean join Maria and I for a boozy celebratory lunch

2.30pm Back at the office, birthday boy Chuck, joins in the celebrations

3pm Beck calls on her day off to say well done. Classy. Both Maria and I will 'drunk-dial' her 4 hours later

4pm Well-wishers swing by as we drink Champagne from coffee mugs

6pm Down the pub, Pat, Tony, Peter and Matt say "Cheers"

7pm Kim drives 3 drunks to Cambridge

7.15pm Mike and Jenny congratulate us

7.30pm A pregnant Mrs Sean drops off Sean. Really happy he showed up

8pm Adam meets his girlfriend's drunken colleagues for the first time

8.30pm Taylor and Adrian show up - buy us drinks

10.30pm Anne gets a drunken Maria settled in the spare bedroom

10.45pm I am asleep.

Tuesday, November 11

Armistice Day

Just read about the 3 oldest veterans who attended today's memorial.

Henry Allingham, 112, Harry Patch, 110, and Bill Stone, 108, represented the RAF, Army and Royal Navy respectively at a ceremony at London's Cenotaph.

Incredible that 90 years later we can still commemorate their service.

Meanwhile this article focuses on the last people to die just before 11am on 11/11 1918.

Monday, November 10

Hot Cat

With the temperature dropping, Isobelle has begun to follow us around the house.

As soon as we sit down, she jumps up onto the couch/bed/chair and curls up on our laps.

Add a blanket, and she's guaranteed to be there.

No No No

Got stuck behind this old dear on Rt 1 this morning.

Either a fan of 90's one-hit wonder Dawn Penn, or Jim Trott the stuttering old perv from The Vicar of Dibley



License Plate NoNoNo

Sunday, November 9

Word of the Day

I was reading the thoroughly enjoyable On Royalty by Jeremy Paxman tonight and came across this word:

abstemious

Pronunciation: \ab-ˈstē-mē-əs\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin abstemius, from abs- + -temius; akin to Latin temetum intoxicating drink
Date: 1609
: marked by restraint especially in the consumption of food or alcohol ; also : reflecting such restraint .. an abstemious diet ..
— ab·ste·mi·ous·ly adverb
— ab·ste·mious·ness noun

So, obviously linked to abstinence. I will attempt to shoehorn this word into conversation this coming week!

Thursday, November 6

SJP

Anyone raised in Europe knows the national identity car stickers that used to be stuck on the back of the car when you traveled overseas. (GB = Great Britain, E = España etc.). They've kind of phased out with newer registration plates, but you get the idea.

So I was bemused when I moved to New England and found twats from Marblehead, Rockport and Newburyport with town acronyms stuck on their bumpers, but hey, what can you do?

Bizarrely in the last few years I've noticed a bunch of cars with SJP stickers on the bumper. Now, I find Sarah Jessica Parker adorable as Carrie Bradshaw, but these stickers seemed such an obtuse form of marketing.

So in the words of all Viz comic letters "Imagine my surprise ..." when I realized this week that SJP isn't Sarah Jessica Parker but St. John's Prep, a catholic boys school in Danvers.

Boy do I feel stupid.

Wednesday, November 5

Nothing to report here

Kind of quiet past few days after Monday's blogathon.

Oh yeah, Obama became President.

Obviously, being a resident of Cambridge I am happy, as is everyone else in the neighborhood.

All the welfare single-mothers, and gay atheist abortionists that form such a huge demographic around Harvard.

Monday, November 3

Jon Hamm on Sarah Silverman

Catch a little Don Draper in Cable Guy mode.


I read an interview with Sarah Silverman where she said that his name tag reads "Eating all the pussy since '93".

Where it all began

Just booked a January trip to San Francisco, where Anne and I first met.

Still difficult to reason why she fell for a man who thought he looked good in a bandana.



Can't wait to relax with good friends, walk through old neighborhoods and be the best version of myself.

I'll even try to read On the Road again.

Graceland!!!!!!

My parents have yet to show up for their 2008 trip and they've already booked for July 2009.

Me thinks a trip down to Memphis might be in order. I've already started on the iPod mix.

Of course we should probably visit Nashville too. But I'd love to drive down to Alabama to cross State #45 off of my list.

Weight a Minute


So I entered a weight loss competition at work today.

God knows how many of us entered, but the fee was $20 each.

The winner is the person who loses the largest percentage of body weight by January 2.

Obstacles between today and 2009?


2 weeks of my parents visiting - approx. 10 restaurant trips, and 20 Starbucks runs.

Anne's birthday - always the chance of a blue cake there.

Christmas with the Slovak in-laws - all the usual Christmas stuff + dishes laden with noodles, heavy cream, cabbage and fatty meats.

I've no chance of winning ... or have I ... ??

Hello Laura love

Still no reply

Recently sent the following e-mail to the good folks at Budget Travel.



Concerning this entry in their magazine.

Sunday, November 2

A little bit of politics

"That Obama chap's doing awfully well", I said to Anne the other day, somewhat in the style of a dithering English fool from a foppish Richard Curtis movie.

"Don't jinx it", was her reply.

Of course as an Englishman, I have taxation without representation. That's doesn't seem fair does it?

Crazy Airport

Pictures from the new Intercontinental Airport in Funchal, Madeira.

My advice, keep right.



IRA SchmIRA

Enjoyed 2 1/2 hrs of Henry Rollins tonight at the Orpheum. To be fair that's about an hour light for the usual Rollins show.

He did a small bit about interviewing a guy in Northern Ireland who used to be in the IRA, and it reminded me of when my parents-in-law visited us in London in the 90's.

They wanted to visit Westminster Cathedral. Not the 1,000 year old Abbey, but the Byzantine style Cathedral which is home to the Catholic Church in England.

Only the IRA decided to call in a bomb threat to the Cathedral that day, just as we were coming out of the Underground and walking towards the church. So we turned around and went to another church.

No fuss, no bother.

I think Anne's parents were quietly impressed with how laissez-faire we were about the whole thing. And it gave them a travel story that they would never find in a guide book.

Saturday, November 1

Hi, I'm Bruce

Catch yourself a whole lotta Bruce Campbell this coming Friday.

As a way of promoting his new film My Name is Bruce, Campbell is going from city to city, attending opening night.

Obviously the nights are staggered, and this Friday is the turn of Boston, or more specifically Kendall Theatre in my fair city of Cambridge!

"Bruce will be personally appearing at each of these cities to introduce the film and do a spirited Q&A* afterward."

*Midnight showings are Introduction of the movie only no Q&A.