Monday, February 9


Today is my first full day of 2 weeks in LA.

Got up at 5am and headed for the hotel gym. It's your usual nightmare for unfit people like me. Mirrors and ESPN dudes everywhere.

However this morning I was on my own, until a guy about my age walked in. Noticed he was wearing an eerily similar combination of clothes to me, with the exception that his t-shirt was one size smaller, revealing a pudgy middle age spread. He then pulled out a bandana. I haven't worn one of those in some time ...

There's a bank of ellipticals and treadmills, but he chooses the one next to mine. Whatever. I have my headphones on and I'm running along to whatever the kids are listening to today. You know, C&C Music Factory and the Bee Gees.

Each time I look up, he nods at me. I don't think anything of it. It's early and we're 2 out-of-shape guys trying to burn off a few calories.

He leaves before me. But as I exit the gym, he's stood by the door. The keyless entry/exit isn't working, at which point he says, "It's like we are trapped in the closet together".

I mumble, because I have nothing to say. (in hindsight I should have started singing an R. Kelly jam)

Then we both leave by the fire exit, into the rain. Yes. It's raining in LA this morning. He starts jogging, so I decide to walk.

By the time I get round to the front of the hotel he is gone. I walk past reception guessing he already told them the problem. Our hotel is a built around a courtyard. I decide to walk right thru it. I'm already wet, so what's the harm?

As I reach the elevator, I see the guy again. He decided to walk around the courtyard.

I laugh and say "Hey", as we both get in the elevator. "Not quite the workout I had in mind", he says.

He's on Floor 3, I'm on 7. The doors close and he takes off his fucking t-shirt.

Why would he do that? It's not like he's ripped!

The doors open and he exits. I remain, moving up to Floor 7.

I guess it's nice to be hit on?

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