Sunday, May 31

Homeward Bound

Just booked a double-trouble trip to both Lands - Cleve and Eng.

A few days in Ohio (filled with kolache and halushki). Then it's fingers crossed that the weather does not scupper our plans.

We fly Cleveland to Boston and then after a few more hours Boston-Amsterdam-Leeds, where Slovak-American food will be replaced with Fish n Chips and good Beer.

US abortion doctor is shot dead


Well you cannot argue with God's plan can you?

What's that? Right to Life?

All very Christian.

* The video in the link has an ad for Intel before the main report. Can't help but feel the placement is slightly 'off message'.

Saturday, May 30

Dirty Rotten Sidings

So we pulled out of the potential house purchase.

The siding was rotten, and we had a sneaky feeling the sheathing and structure underneath might be too.

Without any prompting the seller came down another $30k, but we've moved on. Looks like it could be a summer of open houses for us.

Tuesday, May 26

Grody to the Max

Thanks Valley Girl

Man do I hate nature. I nearly puked yesterday. Firstly it took me an age just to get my damn bike out of the basement. A combination of sticky locks and cobweb laced entry ways that would not look out of place in a horror movie.

When I did finally make it into the sunshine of our backyard, I made the quick turn to the side of the house to see two dead squirrels in a bucket of wretched water.

As I tried to hold back my gag reflex, Anne dusted all of the cobwebs off of my back.

Less than 5 minutes into our bike ride the chain came off my bike. And as I walked back home a thunderstorm kicked in. Great.

Finally home, I scrubbed the oily bike chain mess off of my hands, only to don rubber gloves. Yep. Back to the bucket filled with squirrel meat. (There's a Prince reference there if anyone is interested).

And to think that people go camping? I will go as low as a 3-star hotel. That is all.

Sunday, May 24

A proper Sports Sunday

The French make sports look so good, Le Mans 24, Roland Garros tennis, Le Tour.

Today is the Monaco Grand Prix ... and yes they really are French (even the French could beat Monaco in a war). Yachts, casinos, luxury brands and playboy lifestyles on full display.

Meanwhile back in England, 1-Day Cricket on internet radio. Just wish they didn't employ the infinitely annoying twat Alec Stewart to commentate.

And in a few hours time, Premiership football on TV. Hoping that Man Utd field a bunch of kids, Hull win and Shearer takes the Geordie wankers down. Go creosote your shed you dull bastard.

Thursday, May 21

Stupid shit I buy

While my sister gorged herself on the Thornton's chocolates I sent for her birthday (Happy birthday sis), I received this in the mail.

Le Whif is a calorie free chocolate inhaler you puff on, to get that chocolate sensation, without actually devouring a king size block of Cadbury's goodness.

It's not as stupid as the Japanese pills I once bought. As I recall, the idea with those was; eat one and magically 15 minutes you are sweating lemons.

The Le Whif does give you a taste of chocolate, and it's granular form is apparently not so microscopic that it could get into your lungs .. which is good I guess, because who wants to die of cocoa induced emphysema.

Wednesday, May 20

That new car smell

Yippee. Got my new car today. I know I should be ripping on about torque and performance, but the best thing is integrated iPhone. Handsfree calling from my contacts, all my playlists including what's coming next. Throw in voice activated dialing and satellite radio and you don't notice that you're up to 120mph on the I-95.

Tuesday, May 19

Is that to Code?

Paid for my first ever property inspection today. Our dream home may not be so dreamy after all. Our inspector was awesome .. in a total buzz kill sort of fashion. I'd love to go round his house and ask if his shit is up to code.

Might be back to the listings once we get the report ...

Sunday, May 17

A big bottle of catchup

So I've been swamped with other stuff recently.

I am sat in my brand new red leather chair, feet reclined, which is just as well because my back is stiff and I'm all crooked.

I blame either the expansive workout I did on Thursday ... to quote my trainer "Big pecs = big checks", or it could be the 24" iMac computer on my desk at work which is pitched at a different angle.

I should add 24" was not enough, and I have a 2nd monitor just for my palettes. And considering how many damned hours I spend at work I shouldn't be surprised if it all had an impact on my unhealthy body.

But work is fun. I love what I do, and I'm doing lots of it. Whether it's tastefully photographed cuisine or crudely illustrated toilet seat covers, I get a kick out of the whole shebang*.

* Shebang, not She Bangs as heterosexual pop sensation Ricky Martin sang.

Other good stuff going on?

Booked for our 4th jaunt to Acapulco later in the year, and I'm due to get a NEW CAR tomorrow. I guess in the grand scheme of life the Saab has lost too many parts, so I'm moving onto an Audi. Vorsprung durch Technik as the ads in Europe say. Don't recall them ever running those in the U.S.

And yet neither Acapulco nor Audi are the biggest financial commitment of the month. We're buying a HOUSE. And I'll write about that soon!

Sports update

Try as I may, I've never really got into American sports, but with the Celtics and Cavs (I married an Ohioan) in the playoffs I get a kick out of shouting 'Threeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" whenever a tall fella drops it in the hoop from far out.

In other sports news, Anne saw Brady Quinn in the airport at Cleveland today. He was sacked twice at check-in, and after fumbling his shoes in security, he was replaced by a third string TSA agent.

Don't eat the kitten

Here's my youngest niece Grace eating a kitten.

Despite her plans to the contrary, I still think my sister will end up keeping them all. Maybe one of them will eventually eat the damned bird I could hear chirping in the background when we spoke on the phone today.

1 Brother, 2 Husbands, 3 Kids, 4 Kittens, High 5 Lorraine!

Friday, May 8

There'll be no finger-banging in my basement

Was probably the 5th funniest thing Janeane Garofalo said at her show tonight. A set heavy on spanx and anti-depressants humor is virtually guaranteed to tickle my funny bones.

The teabaggers threatened to come out and heckle everyone's favorite liberal political stand-up, but they all pussied out. Idiot douche-bags.

So we were left in peace to enjoy stories such as "I offered my boyfriend a blow-job each time he walked the dog. Let's just say after 10 years together he ain't walking the dog that much".

It was only my second time at Somerville theater. The first was to see the Patrick Swayze movie Roadhouse.

Somerville theater. 2 for 2.