Monday, August 2

Let's Rock

Let me preface this entry with an Anne quote, "this was my favorite day of the trip so far"

Our first full day began with a crazy early start as Dan the driver whisked us from Alice to Uluru. Along the way we patted a dingo, got all Rod Hull on an emu's ass and cajoled a kangaroo in getting onto it's haunches. We also rode these bad boys. No problem for the ladies, but the camel is not for the testicular gender.

A few stops later we ate some crazy Aussie coconut and jam cake, Anne purchased an $18 bookmark and we had picked up a guy in the middle of the desert who fell asleep on the bus and snored like a bastard before we finally arrived in Ayer's Rock, or Uluru as purveyors of White Euro guilt would have you say.

This afternoon we went to the other rocktastic site in Central NT, The Olgas, or Kata Tjuta for the PC crowd.

The 2 hours hike was an energetic romp, humorously marred by an English woman and her two dildo kids who all wore bright pink sweat jackets with gold text. Poor font choice.

Here are photos of Anne both flanked and snapped by English asses, and me doing my falling down a hole routine.

We also had a group of comedy Japanese tourists who by the end of the hike I longed for. Why? So that I would not have to make small talk with a precocious German teenager, a dull as fuck New Zealander and a pair of pushy Italian photo snappers.

Jess our guide was OK, although using the word nibblies (for nuts) is quaintly infuriating.

And the spider the size of a hand in the ladies toilet made a few people scream. Anne was strangely upbeat about it. Noting that a place full of fecal matter attracts flies and therefore is a perfect trap for a spider.

We of course finished with a campfire get together and I have never seen the sky so full of stars. To see the Milky Way, horoscope stars, planets, Southern Cross all on display was immense, and almost made up for the poorly seasoned comedy meat we ate, in this case kangaroo.

Trudging back to the hotel all we wanted was a shower and a clean bed ... well and maybe some electricity. Sadly our room had shorted out, so we moved to another room. I tried the kettle, result. Anne jumped in the shower and at the exact moment she committed to washing her hair, and thus the use of a hair dryer, the whole (second) room went kaput.

In the words of Beyoncé and her fantastic Direct TV ads, "Lemme lemme upgrade ya". So now we have a room that faces Uluru.

Which is nice.

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