Monday, August 9

Outdoing T-Pain

This morning we boarded the bus with 37 Chinese people. What a pushy and rude set of fuckers they are proving to be.

Meanwhile, Brian our tour bus driver is nice enough but I am growing tired of the NZ trait of not pronouncing the vowels 'a' or 'e' correctly. Instead they use an 'i'

Example - "We will be meeting at tin pist tin" means 10:10am.

If he longs for six, I have no idea if he wants half a dozen, or to get laid.

We are headed for Milford Sound and along the way are some of the most beautiful Alpine views I have ever seen. Imagine Austria and Switzerland, but switch out bespectacled tall blond Germanic people for directionless camera-happy Chinese fucks.

The Cruise.

Well if the buffet was as good as the scenery we would have been eating in France.

We took more than 300 photos, shot video of waterfalls, and seals and penguins. The light was incredible, and for the most part the Chinese group stayed inside the boat. It's possibly the most incredible journey I've taken, and I got to say "Oh Shit, get your towels ready ..."

Afterwards faced with a 4.5 hour bus-ride with a bunch of poisonous commies, or an ultra expensive helicopter ride we chose the latter.

Sure it was outrageously over-priced, but it was a once in a lifetime chance (except we are planning to do it on Wednesday also).

Our pilot was Snow. Top bloke. He took us up the side of the Fjord, over plateaus, and landed on the glacier.

I'm not in shock over the price of the helicopter ride. I am in shock that I agreed to a $20 souvenir photo. The photo he took is just like this one taken with my camera phone, only crappier, then printed out, and then slapped onto a commemorative card.

After the shortest hour of our lives we were whisked away by taxi back to our hotel, where we changed and then went out to dinner. As we returned some of the Chinese bus passengers were in the lobby.

They walked in front of me. Again.

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