Sunday, May 1

La la land

Headed for LA this morning. My Dad turns 70 next week and this is his birthday present.

The plane had the usual collection of crazy. A manic depressive old bag complaining about shit and a woman in front of me who had a small piece of blossom wedged in the back of her ear.

Avis rental guy looked like Usher. Probably wasn't.

Our SatNav is lazy. Always takes her 15 minutes to acquire satellites. But once she has them she starts bossing me around. Told her to zip it a bunch of times.

We took a movie star homes tour. Saw the Beckhams house. Contemplated breaking in as they are probably still in England for the Royal wedding. Instead stayed on the bus and saw Dr Phil's house. Was delighted when my mom exclaimed "Who the hell is Dr Phil?"

After the tour, grabbed coffee and sat next to 6 Asian girls who were all jabbering away to each other while everyone of them also texted away on their 'mobile handheld devices'.

In the hotel 4 Australian girls bitched about the size of their luggage because they had also stopped off at the Palms in Vegas. When I was their age on the same kind of trip I didn't stay in boutique hotels. I stayed in $25 a night hotels. Kids today! Whatever old man ...

We ate dinner at Asia de Cuba. It is like Sodom and Gomorrha there. All the pretty, cosmetically enhanced young things drink expensive cocktails by the pool while Euro House pumps away. But we managed to eat everything on the tasting menu including dessert.

On the ride back to the hotel I called a Korean guy (who was probably returning from a night of Korean classical music at the Hollywood Bowl) a douche. This could be my last swear for a month. We will see ...

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