Why is Starbucks full of prize winning twats?
To paraphrase the un-great Lionel Ritchie, I know it's easy, but come on ... if the people in there get any further up their own asses they'll become certified colonoscopists.
I know I'm part of the problem, paying silly money for a wanker-chino, and I'm surprised the guy behind the counter managed to suppress his contempt for me, but little did he know I was just the warm-up act.
The fuckhole behind me had the cadence of someone with a good education, but with an undertone of dickishness that will find him bitterly telling people at parties for the next 5-10 years that "My boss is an asshole who just doesn't get me".
He looked at the pastry display like he was working out the big-brain equation in Good Will Hunting.
"What's in the Apple Fritter? Because it doesn't look like I would expect it to".
Here's why I don't work retail. My answer would be "Apple and Fritter, now fuck right off you nerdy c*nt."