Wednesday, August 24

Arrrgghhh Kelly

What's a pirate's favorite singer?

The following conversation has never happened

Parent "What occupation do you hope to follow?"
Teenager "A children's entertainer"

Thus my skepticism of anyone who gets paid to make children laugh is formed. And you can double down when they wear make up and a silly wig.

Today we headed for Hyannis so that Grace could aboard a pirate's shp. But first we stopped in Chatham to buy Taffy and observe how the rich and snooty live.

In the afternoon while Grace was being sold a plastic sword for $4, Anne and I slipped off for a quick adult beverage. Entering the bar we saw but one guy with ponytail and silk shirt propping up one end. We sat at the other end. He was chatty ....

I ended up loving this guy. He had that smarmy confidence that money, power, and whisky brings, and he looked like the bad guy from Kindergarten Cop ... 20 years on, with a bit of modern day Mickey Rourke thrown in.

He asked a few choice facts about the 2 of us, and after initially calling me Jim, settled on calling me 'English'. Anne was tagged with the name 'Red', after the guy ran his hand through her not red hair.

Chatting about the crumbier parts of Cleveland he said, "I knew a broa ... lady from that part of town once".

God knows how he got his property in Manhattan, and the largest and prettiest lot of land on the Cape, but he has 6 kids that he admits to, and had taken to giving sage advice to the young and busty bartender who wobbled between eye-rolling and charmed.

I think Grace had a Hot Dog tonight.

No comments: