I set off for London today with a bit of a sniffy nose. Not to worry I thought as I hit the Hudson News in the airport lounge, I'll get some tissues. They had no tissues.They did have a box of 50 envelopes.
I detest Hudson News, they sell niche magazines for Boston florists, living in Miami guides and African-American tattoo fans, but they cannot stock a title about movies, or The Economist. Douchebags.
Waiting for the plane a group of 20-somethings sat behind me, extolling the virtues of their various electronic devices and giving out handy yet 100% incorrect tips for traveling through security. "I take out my Digital Camera. They always want to see that".
Then they moved on to the the beauty of Groupon, "You can like, save 100s of, like dollars, by using this thing. I click on the links on Facebook. It's, like, awesome"
Next up, they discussed their friend who it appears is getting married in India next month. "She wears these, like, sari things, which are awesome. Like in that Slumdog Billionaire (sic) movie".
Elsewhere, Yanks with fanny-packs and gleaming white sneakers, mingled with balding middle-aged Brits in their distressed SuperDry shirts and Boxfresh jeans. Neither realising what twattish targets they look in other countries.
The middle-aged woman next to me looked nutty. And when she pulled out her book by televangelist Joel Osteen I felt suitably vindicated for my assessment.
Once on the plane, life settled. I realised I was watching the same move on my iPad that was playing on the in-flight screens.
At passport control I had a few choice words with an American woman behind me who seemed to think it was her job to control the line. 'Neurotic logic' was my best phrase in that conversation.
Finally I hit my £29 a night Travelodge room. You can imagine how good that was ...