I've been doing too much shopping recently.
Overheard in CVS
And the lucky thing was I saw my friend Wolf there, so I got to see him in the jousting competition.
Shelf Stacker "Are you looking for something in particular?"
Me "My wife"
Overheard in Container Store
Lindsay come here and look at these tiny coat hooks
I think they're for keys?
Overheard in Ikea
Stace, we need hangers for fuck's sake. We need to hang stuff.
We don't need bowls. I don't eat anything in a bowl.
Snooty sales guy "Are you looking for something special?"
Me "No, that's why I'm in your store"
Overheard in Target
Do you guys carry the Equate brand?
Today there was a fatal AK-47 shooting spree in Nevada at an International House of Pancakes. I just turned the TV on for background noise and there's been an ad for IHOP during each commercial break.
Finally, I was in the pharmacy today, and I asked where I could find First Aid Kits.
Walgreens associate "We don't sell them".