I innocently clicked on a BBC story about nice Valentine's Day places to visit.
It took me to this place.
Maybe it's the puritan in me or the repressed Englishman, but this place looks decidedly dodgy to me.
A 7ft tall Champagne glass bath tub in your room is creepy. You know it's going to be filled with soap, Champagne and semen. And how do you get out of it? A round bottomed (snicker) bathtub is a bitch to get out of.
And yes, those are mirrored slats, so when you're getting it on, you look like the opening credits of Dynasty.
I love that they throw in another heart shaped pool in the room ... in case you have a few couples come over?
And all of your spunky suds are going to wash over onto the carpeting below.
Who knew Southern PA was such a den of depravity? Although I did notice all of the couples are hetro on the website.
It would be creepy to go there on your own. You know. If business took you to Southern PA. It's the sort of hotel where they'd say "Ah, welcome back Mr Taylor, would you like your usual suite for one", just as the busload of swingers walked by in silk robes and cravats.
Sodom and Gomorrah rages around you in every other room, meanwhile you're 7ft in the air with your ass squished against the clear plastic when the maid comes in.
Yeah, she's flashing her fella. Probably has a Champagne glass pubic sculpture.
If you want to check out their range of mirrored ceiling rooms see below or head on over to www.covepoconoresorts.com
"It won't fit in my mouth."
"Sure it will."