Wednesday, March 7

Don't make me pull an analogy ...

I love my iPhone.

And because I was an iPhone 1.0 user I get to stay joined at the hip to AT&T. I'm grandfathered in on unlimited data. It's like having an ugly and lazy spouse who specializes in 'oral pleasure' ... you want to leave, but damn you'll miss those unlimited blow jobs.


Every time I travel overseas, which is usually 3-4 times a year, I give AT&T a call and speak to one of their friendly assistants to set up a temporary overseas text and data plan. I could do it on-line, but why risk screwing up when there is a room in Bangalore full of people to help me?

2 weeks ago I purchased a text plan and a data plan for Belize. It meant Anne could stay close to her new and growing business, and I could keep checking Facebook and the BBC website.

A few days into our vaca, Anne received a text from AT&T basically saying, "Why are you checking the internet lady? It costs $20 per e-mail". She called the International help, and it turns out AT&T don't have a deal with Belize to provide text and data.

I checked our account today. We owed $696. So I gave them a call.

Either Bangalore is recruiting 'Z-Snappers", or I got the US call center, because I spoke with an angry woman of color who doubled down every time she had the chance to say "Sir".

She could not get past the difference between AT&T not having an arrangement with Belize, and our ability to connect to the local 3G network. Her logic being that only AT&T can magically send internet waves into our calling devices.

I was close to pulling an analogy of "You sold me peas for $50, but when you took my money you revealed that you don't sell peas". In hindsight this would have confused her.

After 18 minutes of her help I was passed to International Assistance. During the holding time, angry lady came back on line to say "There's a man checking on your problem now". I had a slight yet guilty wave of chauvinism, and was thankful it was a man. In fact I hoped it was a 'man's man'.

The man took 42 seconds to refund me $498.

I'll call him next time I travel.

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