Around the time I was 16 and living in the UK, the government withdrew dentist visits from the National Health Service.
Consequently, I never went to the dentist again.
I hate that this proves the generalization Americans have about Brits and their rotting teeth. But then again, I never had a problem, so I never went.
But today, armed with a new healthcare plan for 2013 and living within a stones throw of a bunch of dentists I broke the sequence.
A 45 second walk from my house took me to a spectacularly well designed dental office.
The dental assistant asked the dreaded question. My answer of 26 years did not seem to spook her.
I swear as a kid the whole thing took about 10 minutes, but today I had almost 2 hours of x-rays, followed by the bingo game where they shout out only, 1s, 2s and 3s. Then she scraped, flossed, and buffed my teeth.
The result? She thought I had wonderful teeth and said I took good care of them.
So fuck you America and your dental racism towards your Mother country!
Will it be 2039 before I visit again?
No, I'm going back in a few weeks for a filling ... I had a 4 among all of the 1s, 2s and 3s.