Thursday, January 16

342 Days Early

It takes a big man to admit he was wrong, but here goes.

Today the Post Office delivered the iPad I sent my sister.

The trick here is not to say, "Why did it take the fuckers 39 days to deliver a package?"

Instead, think of it in terms of Christmas 2014.

Yes? How early did they get that package to the UK huh?

After my wasted time with Ms Passive Aggressive (January 8th), I did a follow up call a few days later and I had to spell out every single contact detail of my life to a barely functioning idiot.

I know I have an accent but why would I be sending a used pipe in the mail?

Why would I live on 4 Dykes St?

Why is Wakefield so difficult to spell when I tell you every single letter?

My favorite was, "Where does the hyphen go in those 11 numbers you just gave me?"

I was tempted to say "Who gives a shit, you have the wrong 11 numbers", but instead I patiently told Forrest Gump's sister about dialing codes in the UK.

I'd like to think she retained that information and is currently thrilling a captive audience with her new found knowledge.

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