Ever notice how the FedEx and UPS guys are running around at all times of the day?
They feel the pressure of competition.
Now compare this with the pension guaranteed fucks at the Post Office.
I sent a package in the mail to my sister before Christmas. Unusually for me I kept the tree's worth of receipt nonsense, and lo and behold the parcel wasn't delivered.
To create a sense of fairness I know the package reached the UK, and my sister suspects that someone in the delivery room stole the package (it contained my old iPad). It's comforting to know that it's not only the US version of the Post Office that are inept.
My sister burns way more calories on this stuff than me. She's already sent an envoy (husband and daughter) to the mail-room for a confrontation, and sent angry letters to the UK Post Office and contacted the Police.
I'm never sure whether to capitalize the Police in case anyone thinks my sis wrote to Sting. She bought their albums in the 80s, but as far as I know she never wrote to them.
There's also that time we found a message in a bottle. Link
Anyway numerous paragraphs ago I mentioned I kept the receipts. And there's a number to call for special International problems.
I was on hold for 25 minutes during which time I learned you can order stamps online. This internet thing is off to a flyer.
A thoroughly bored and irritated voice came on the line. I explained my situation. She mumbled something. I asked her to repeat. She said it slower and louder like a dumb tourist asking a local for directions to McDonalds in a non-English speaking country.
I thanked her for speaking way too loud.
She wanted the code on the receipt. Apparently I gave her the wrong code, because their code "Don't have no dashes."
I offered the Customs slip number.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no." She said.
"One no would have been enough, and why are you so angry?" I asked.
She put me on hold for 20 more minutes while I stood in the corner and took the time to think about what I had done.
After 20 minutes the line cut off.
I'll try again tomorrow if I have 50 minutes to spare.
Which I won't. Because I have a job that requires my fucking time, energy and focus.