Friday, February 14

Valentine's Day Massacre?

Argghhh!

There's no greater sign of the milquetoast sanitation of life in the U.S. than of little kids handing out valentine gifts to all and asunder.

*, **, ***, OK I just thought of 3 more.

Driving into work this morning I passed a school. So the road was already busy with parental warriors in their 4x4 taking their walk-shy little Tarquin and Tamaras to first period.

A crossing guard (or lollipop lady as we correctly call them in the UK) decided to use her absolute power to stop the already busy traffic so a little girl and her mom could cross the road.

Half-way across, the girl whips out a present for the crossing guard and begins to have a conversation. Meanwhile the mom is merrily photographing the scene for an iPhoto event that I imagine will be titled "Why I'm teaching my kid to be a self-entitled c*nt".

I looked in my side mirror and counted 12 cars all stopped so that this little shit could chit-chat with the bitch in the fluorescent jacket.

3 more?

* misogynist NFL players raising Breast Cancer awareness

** The syrup laden CBS coverage of The Masters

*** The phrase 'Support the Troops' as a catch-all for niceness ... sure I drunkenly crashed my truck in the ante-natal clinic causing all 6 floors to explode including the creche but hey I support the troops.

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