Friday, February 14

Valentine's Day Massacre?


There's no greater sign of the milquetoast sanitation of life in the U.S. than of little kids handing out valentine gifts to all and asunder.

*, **, ***, OK I just thought of 3 more.

Driving into work this morning I passed a school. So the road was already busy with parental warriors in their 4x4 taking their walk-shy little Tarquin and Tamaras to first period.

A crossing guard (or lollipop lady as we correctly call them in the UK) decided to use her absolute power to stop the already busy traffic so a little girl and her mom could cross the road.

Half-way across, the girl whips out a present for the crossing guard and begins to have a conversation. Meanwhile the mom is merrily photographing the scene for an iPhoto event that I imagine will be titled "Why I'm teaching my kid to be a self-entitled c*nt".

I looked in my side mirror and counted 12 cars all stopped so that this little shit could chit-chat with the bitch in the fluorescent jacket.

3 more?

* misogynist NFL players raising Breast Cancer awareness

** The syrup laden CBS coverage of The Masters

*** The phrase 'Support the Troops' as a catch-all for niceness ... sure I drunkenly crashed my truck in the ante-natal clinic causing all 6 floors to explode including the creche but hey I support the troops.

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