I never go in the non-United part of the airport. It's much nicer.
I started with a shit-jumper to Chicago. Plenty of down on their luck Browns fans on-board, plus a nice woman with the 2 sassiest kids you ever saw. Basically they hit each other for 45 minutes.
In Chicago the line for the Phoenix flight is a jungle. This is why I avoid USAirways. I'm in Business Class but there's a riot going on because we're not getting a meal. We are flying from Chicago to Phoenix ... not walking.
As boarding continues I notice a few people deciding to get off the plane. So just before they close the doors the flight attendant says, "This is your last chance to leave."
The woman next to me flips the fuck out. She's already had 2 glasses of wine, "The red kind" was her direct quote.
She decides to stay, but spends the next 3 hours furtively looking out of the window.
I land in Phoenix. It's almost a 100 fucking degrees. As I leave the garage with my rental (a Jeep) a bat hits my windshield.
I'm booked into a resort that is so convoluted in layout it requires a degree in Orienteering. I'm overlooking the 'Adult' pool. Happy to report no adult activity as of 11pm last night.
Temp is a cool 79° in the room. AC is like a penguin farting.
This morning I took a 10 minute maze walk to the dining area. Resort is on the precipice of a cliff. Expect each turn to end with a 400ft drop.
Should have left a trail of twine because it took 15 minutes to get back.
Time to get my game face on and go do some work!
A heavily photoshopped version of where I'm staying!